Am I a Narcissist? 40-Question Checklist
Explore our 40-question checklist to assess narcissistic tendencies. Learn about critical traits like empathy, intentional harm, and self-awareness. Educational, not diagnostic.
Abuse No More
6 min read
Am I a Narcissist? 40-Question Checklist to Provide Insight
Disclaimer: This checklist is for educational purposes only. It is not a diagnostic tool and should not replace professional evaluation. Everyone has narcissistic traits to some degree—it’s a spectrum. This checklist is designed to encourage self-reflection and provide insight into narcissistic tendencies.
Grandiosity and Self-Perception
Do you believe you are more special or unique than others?
What this looks like: You might dismiss other people’s accomplishments or view their skills as less impressive compared to yours. You often feel you’re "one of a kind."
Do you often exaggerate your achievements or talents?
What this looks like: You add embellishments to stories about your successes, inflate titles, or make yourself appear more accomplished than reality reflects.
Do you feel superior to most people you meet?
What this looks like: You assume you are more intelligent, capable, or insightful than others, often without factual basis.
Do you think others should admire you for your talents or accomplishments?
What this looks like: You feel frustrated when people don’t compliment you or recognize your perceived importance.
Do you crave being the center of attention?
What this looks like: You dominate conversations, interrupt others, or create drama to draw focus back to yourself.
Entitlement
Do you feel like you deserve special treatment, regardless of circumstances?
What this looks like: You expect to skip lines, receive perks without asking, or be accommodated beyond what is typical.
Do you believe rules that apply to others shouldn’t apply to you?
What this looks like: You might speed without guilt, ignore workplace policies, or feel irritated by any limitations placed on you.
Do you often expect others to prioritize your needs over their own?
What this looks like: You get annoyed when friends or partners focus on their issues instead of yours.
Do you feel frustrated when people don’t give you the recognition you believe you deserve?
What this looks like: You might sulk, withdraw, or lash out when others overlook your efforts or achievements.
Do you find it difficult to accept criticism or feedback?
What this looks like: You become defensive, angry, or dismissive when someone critiques your behavior or ideas.
Empathy
Do you struggle to understand or care about how others feel?
What this looks like: You dismiss others’ emotions as irrelevant or unimportant compared to your own.
Do you find it hard to genuinely sympathize with someone else’s struggles?
What this looks like: You might fake concern but secretly feel indifferent or judgmental about their problems.
Do you use people’s vulnerabilities against them to gain an advantage?
What this looks like: You weaponize personal information someone has shared with you during arguments or power plays.
Do you feel others should simply “get over” their problems quickly?
What this looks like: You grow impatient when someone needs emotional support and dismiss their feelings as overreactions.
Do you believe emotions are a sign of weakness?
What this looks like: You might avoid showing your own vulnerability and judge others who do as overly sensitive or incapable.
Relationships
Do you prioritize your own needs in relationships over your partner's?
What this looks like: You rarely compromise and expect your partner to accommodate your preferences without question.
Do you find it difficult to maintain long-term friendships or relationships?
What this looks like: You experience frequent falling-outs or shallow connections due to conflicts or self-centered behavior.
Do you feel bored or annoyed when others share their feelings with you?
What this looks like: You tune out when others express emotions, only pretending to listen or care.
Do you see relationships as a way to boost your self-image?
What this looks like: You associate with certain people only for their status, looks, or the benefits they bring to you.
Do you feel like others can’t live without your presence in their lives?
What this looks like: You overestimate your importance in others’ lives and believe they’re dependent on your support or influence.
Manipulation
Do you often manipulate situations to achieve your goals?
What this looks like: You might twist facts, guilt-trip others, or withhold information to get your way.
Do you use charm or flattery to get what you want?
What this looks like: You strategically praise people when you need a favor or want them on your side.
Do you exploit others to meet your own needs?
What this looks like: You overburden others with responsibilities or take advantage of their goodwill.
Do you withhold affection or communication to punish someone?
What this looks like: You give the silent treatment or withdraw emotionally when someone displeases you.
Do you believe others should always comply with your wishes?
What this looks like: You become angry or resentful when people don’t agree with or cater to you.
Envy and Jealousy
Do you often feel envious of others’ achievements or possessions?
What this looks like: You compare yourself negatively to others and feel resentment when they succeed.
Do you think others are envious of you?
What this looks like: You interpret criticism or disagreement as jealousy rather than differing opinions.
Do you struggle to celebrate other people’s successes?
What this looks like: You downplay their achievements or feel uncomfortable offering praise.
Do you feel annoyed when others receive attention or praise?
What this looks like: You might interrupt, redirect conversations, or minimize others' accomplishments to regain focus on yourself.
Do you compare yourself to others and feel either superior or inferior?
What this looks like: You obsess over who has more success, wealth, or popularity, creating cycles of arrogance or self-doubt.
Fragile Self-Esteem
Do you secretly feel insecure or inadequate despite outward confidence?
What this looks like: You overcompensate by seeking constant validation or acting overly confident.
Do you need constant reassurance to feel valued or important?
What this looks like: You regularly ask others for compliments or feel anxious without external affirmation.
Do you struggle with feelings of shame or worthlessness when criticized?
What this looks like: You might withdraw, lash out, or spiral into self-pity when confronted with negative feedback.
Do you often downplay your mistakes or shift blame onto others?
What this looks like: You avoid accountability by making excuses or focusing on others' faults instead of your own.
Do you find it hard to admit when you are wrong?
What this looks like: You deflect, argue, or rationalize rather than apologizing or acknowledging mistakes.
Behavioral Traits
Do you frequently interrupt or dominate conversations?
What this looks like: You speak over others, steer discussions toward yourself, or monopolize group discussions.
Do you tend to focus conversations on yourself, even when others are sharing?
What this looks like: You redirect topics back to your experiences, sidelining others’ perspectives.
Do you feel irritated when others don’t show you enough respect?
What this looks like: You interpret neutral or casual behavior as disrespect and demand more deference.
Do you find yourself minimizing or dismissing other people’s opinions?
What this looks like: You disregard their input as uninformed, irrelevant, or inferior to your own ideas.
Do you feel uncomfortable when someone else is the center of attention for too long?
What this looks like: You might interrupt, compete for attention, or disengage to shift focus back to yourself.Scoring Your Responses
RESULTS
Count how many questions you answered “yes.” While this tool is not diagnostic, it can provide insight into potential tendencies. Use the breakdown below as a guide:
0–10: Low narcissistic tendencies
Likely within the normal range of self-focus. Traits like confidence and self-advocacy are healthy but can be excessive in certain situations.11–20: Moderate narcissistic tendencies
Some behaviors may strain relationships or reflect unresolved insecurities. Self-reflection could help identify areas to improve.21–30: High narcissistic tendencies
These traits might significantly impact your relationships, work, or self-esteem. Consider seeking guidance to explore these behaviors and their effects.31–40: Very high narcissistic tendencies
If these behaviors dominate your interactions, relationships, or self-perception, it’s worth consulting a mental health professional to understand their root causes.
Critical Traits to Consider
Lack of Empathy: A Key Indicator
What this looks like: Struggling to connect with others’ feelings or dismissing their emotions altogether.
Why it matters: Empathy is the ability to genuinely understand and care about another person’s experiences. If you consistently fail to acknowledge or care about others’ emotions, it’s a red flag.
If this resonates strongly: This could indicate deeper issues, such as emotional detachment or a disregard for others, and may cause significant harm in relationships.
Intentionally Causing Harm: A Super Red Flag
What this looks like: Manipulating, gaslighting, or exploiting others to gain an advantage, even when you know it will hurt them.
Why it matters: While everyone occasionally makes mistakes or hurts others unintentionally, deliberately causing harm suggests a more severe pattern of behavior that may align with traits of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
If this resonates strongly: This points to a deeper, potentially pathological behavior. Seeking professional help is crucial to understand the motivations and impacts of this pattern.
Emotional Impact on Others
What this looks like: Others may frequently feel belittled, invalidated, or drained after interactions with you.
Why it matters: A consistent pattern of leaving others feeling emotionally harmed, disrespected, or unimportant could indicate harmful tendencies beyond normal self-focus.
If this resonates strongly: It’s essential to reflect on how your actions affect those around you. Professional intervention can help improve self-awareness and relational dynamics.
Empathy as the Foundation
Empathy is the cornerstone of healthy relationships. If you lack empathy, you may:
Struggle to support others emotionally.
View people as tools rather than individuals with feelings.
Fail to see the harm your actions cause.
Without empathy, behaviors such as manipulation, exploitation, or emotional neglect become more likely. If this resonates, it’s a strong signal to seek help and develop skills to understand and connect with others.
Reflection
This checklist is not about labeling yourself as a “narcissist,” but about raising awareness of behaviors that could harm you and others. Traits like lack of empathy or intentional harm indicate more severe issues that require immediate attention. Recognizing these patterns is a powerful step toward positive change.
If you feel concerned about your behaviors, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor for support.