Am I a Narcissist?

A Comprehensive Self-Reflection Checklist

Narcissism can manifest in various ways, often more subtly than we expect. This checklist will help you reflect on whether you exhibit traits associated with narcissism. Keep in mind that narcissism exists on a spectrum, and having one or more traits does not automatically make someone a narcissist.

Use this checklist as an opportunity for self-awareness, personal growth, and deeper understanding. You’re here to grow, not to label yourself harshly. Embrace this journey with kindness.

1. Grandiosity: Do You See Yourself as Superior?

• Do you often feel superior to others, regardless of achievements, skills, or status?

  • Example: Feeling annoyed when others don’t recognize your achievements or seeing others as inferior.

• Do you believe your ideas are always better, even without considering others' perspectives?

  • Example: Insisting your solution is the only valid one, dismissing others’ suggestions as irrelevant.

• Do you often seek admiration, needing others to acknowledge your greatness?

  • Example: Feeling uneasy or upset if you don’t receive enough compliments or attention.

Recognizing these patterns can open the door to humility, allowing you to truly connect with others.

2. Lack of Empathy: Do You Struggle to Understand Others’ Feelings?

• Do you find it difficult to relate to others' feelings or experiences, even when they are clearly in distress?

  • Example: Feeling indifferent or confused when someone shares an emotional story.

• Do you often prioritize your own feelings and needs, even when someone else is hurt?

  • Example: Brushing off a friend’s emotions because you’re focused on your own stress.

• Do you often minimize others' struggles, seeing them as exaggerated or less important than your own?

  • Example: Responding with “get over it” when someone is upset, rather than offering compassion.

Developing empathy can transform your relationships, bringing deeper, more meaningful connections.

3. Need for Control: Do You Need to Be in Charge?

• Do you feel uncomfortable when others take the lead or make decisions that affect you?

  • Example: Feeling anxious when you’re not in control of a group project or family event.

• Do you try to manipulate situations so that they work in your favor, often at others’ expense?

  • Example: Using guilt or pressure to get others to agree with your plans or decisions.

• Do you have a hard time accepting feedback or criticism from others?

  • Example: Dismissing constructive feedback or reacting defensively when someone points out a mistake.

Embracing collaboration and flexibility can reduce stress and enhance your influence in a positive way.

4. Lack of Accountability: Do You Blame Others for Problems?

• Do you often blame others when things don’t go as planned, refusing to accept responsibility?

  • Example: Blaming a coworker for a failed project, even if you made mistakes as well.

• Do you struggle to apologize sincerely, often finding ways to justify your behavior?

  • Example: Offering a half-hearted “sorry” followed by reasons why your actions were justified.

• Do you feel a sense of injustice when things don’t go your way, seeing yourself as a victim of others’ incompetence or malice?

  • Example: Feeling persecuted or misunderstood when others disagree with your perspective.

Taking accountability is an act of courage, not weakness. It paves the way for personal growth and stronger relationships.

5. Entitlement: Do You Believe You Deserve Special Treatment?

• Do you expect others to cater to your needs, often without reciprocation?

  • Example: Feeling entitled to the best seat, the most attention, or special favors, regardless of others’ needs.

• Do you feel that rules don’t apply to you, and that you should be exempt from ordinary expectations?

  • Example: Breaking rules because you feel they are beneath you, or expecting exceptions to be made just for you.

• Do you get upset when things don’t go your way, seeing it as unfair rather than just unfortunate?

  • Example: Feeling personally wronged when plans change, even if it’s beyond anyone’s control.

Cultivating gratitude and fairness can shift your perspective, leading to more fulfilling interactions.

6. Need for Validation: Are You Dependent on Praise?

• Do you feel empty or anxious when you’re not receiving praise or admiration?

  • Example: Checking social media constantly for likes or approval, feeling down if engagement is low.

• Do you often seek compliments, even fishing for them in subtle ways?

  • Example: Asking leading questions like, “Wasn’t my presentation great?”

• Do you feel envious when others receive praise or recognition, feeling it should have been directed at you?

  • Example: Feeling resentment when a coworker receives an award, even if it’s deserved.

Self-validation is a powerful tool. Recognizing your own worth, without relying solely on external praise, is a major step toward inner peace.

7. Difficulty Maintaining Long-Term Relationships

• Do you notice a pattern of intense but short-lived relationships, often due to conflict or disinterest?

  • Example: Friends or partners often leave because they feel ignored or devalued over time.

• Do you become disinterested in others once they no longer serve a purpose or provide admiration?

  • Example: Dropping a friend after they stop praising your achievements.

• Do you find it hard to maintain mutual respect, often prioritizing your needs over the relationship's well-being?

  • Example: Ignoring a partner’s needs unless they directly impact your comfort or happiness.

Building lasting relationships requires mutual respect, empathy, and genuine care for others’ well-being.

8. Envy and Jealousy: Do You Feel Threatened by Others’ Success?

• Do you often feel envious when others succeed, rather than happy for them?

  • Example: Feeling frustrated or diminished when a friend gets a promotion or new opportunity.

• Do you minimize others' achievements, attributing them to luck or manipulation?

  • Example: Saying, “They only got it because they’re lucky,” instead of acknowledging their hard work.

• Do you feel the need to outdo others, turning everything into a competition?

  • Example: Trying to one-up a friend’s story with your own, bigger story.

Learning to celebrate others’ successes can reduce stress and open the door to genuine happiness.

9. Preoccupation with Fantasy: Do You Live in a Fantasy World?

• Do you often fantasize about unlimited success, power, beauty, or love?

  • Example: Imagining how others would admire you if only they could see your potential.

• Do you escape into these fantasies, using them to cope with stress or reality?

  • Example: Spending hours daydreaming about fame, instead of addressing real-life challenges.

• Do you believe you are destined for greatness, often feeling misunderstood by others?

  • Example: Seeing yourself as a misunderstood genius, just waiting to be discovered.

Grounding yourself in reality can help you achieve real success, not just imagined glory.

Reflection Time

If you found yourself identifying with several of these traits, don’t panic. Narcissistic tendencies can be part of human nature, especially when driven by insecurity or unmet needs. The key is to be aware, self-reflect, and strive for growth. True strength lies in acknowledging areas for improvement and taking steps toward positive change.

You are not defined by your tendencies but by your choices. The path to growth begins with awareness and courage. You have the power to become the best version of yourself! Identify.Minimize.Control.